Pronounced in full awareness and in the silence of the courts
I will never forget
your inexpressive face,
your silences,
your indifference —
a mix of ingratitude
and narcissistic power display.
I will not forget the hatred towards me
for having consumed your youth.
The hatred for not having succeeded in destroying me.
A hatred that sliced the air
and filled your nostrils.
I will never forget
how you did not hesitate to sacrifice
what we will never be able to divide,
and which, despite everything,
forces us never to be fully apart.
I will not forget the sleepless nights,
crossed by pain and despair.
I will not forget the Christmas spent alone,
in a silence harsher than death,
without even being able to speak to my children.
You called that justice.
I call it cruelty.
I will never forget
how you exploited my feelings,
how you played with my emotions,
how you provoked me, methodically,
to trigger a reaction
that you would then coldly note down as evidence.
You built your strategy with my pain.
I will never forget
how you used me for your own ends.
How today you deny my role in your life,
while remaining a prisoner
of the dilemma between being kept
and your craving to prove your worth.
I will never forget
how you played with rigged cards
of a rotten system
that welcomed you
in the role you play best:
that of the poor victim.
You acted, and they believed you.
You lied, and they rewarded you.
I will not forget
your smiles,
your ostentatious happiness
while I was drowning in pain.
But above all,
I will not forget
that you deserve no pity.
Because pity
does not belong to you.
And life, sooner or later,
will bring you the bill.
To remind you
how merciless you were to me —
and without my help,
the castle you built on lies
will collapse with you.
Not your conscience.
Because asking you for a conscience
is an exercise that leads nowhere.
Not the official justice of the courts,
too deaf and blind, entrenched behind
the defense of the presumed weaker party.
But because the forces that hold the universe together
will not have forgotten.